First of all, I'm not wandering. There is no lily-filled field in which I am gallivanting (This is my initial image of "wander"?) I am not thoughtfully walking down London streets, chilly in my pea coat but deciding to stop into a cozy cafe I pass by. I am not on top of Austria, arms outstretched singing "The hills are alive" with no place to go. These seem to be appropriate pictures of "wander".
I am frantic. This isn't cute. Deadlines are neglected and calls go un-made. Meetings procrastinated and my bed loved in a way that is not for its own good. My bed, I fear, will begin to feel separation anxiety. (Or maybe that is myself...hm.) Either way, life is not one happy fast track. Life is six-zillion tracks and I cannot stay on any. I am left with a scrunched up face. Frustration. Fists clenched. Hair busy as a crows nest in very decided chunks.
Lost doesn't look lovely, at the moment.
What do you do, when you're expected to know what you're doing? Come on, at this school, everyone seems to be conquering the world simultaneously. History homework? You got it. Relationship advice? Mastery. Serving the Lord in Uzbekistan? Did it last summer. It was awesome, by the way. I met my soul mate and got a baller tan. People haven't said that since 2006...
When I get to this state of lost I simply give up. I fall, seriously fall, beside my bed and lay on the floor. My roommate is used to weirdo behavior. But where else do you end up when you actually feel low? I just feel low.
Happy New Year.
Isaiah 62:1-2:
For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be quiet, until her vindication shines brightly and her deliverance burns like a torch. Nations will see your vindication, and all kings your splendor. You will be called by a new name that the Lord himself will give you.
This part happens after God brings Israel back to himself. After he announces to the whole earth, "Look! Your deliverer comes." People will notice a change. And the Lord will give them a new name.
Isaiah 62:1-2:
For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be quiet, until her vindication shines brightly and her deliverance burns like a torch. Nations will see your vindication, and all kings your splendor. You will be called by a new name that the Lord himself will give you.
This part happens after God brings Israel back to himself. After he announces to the whole earth, "Look! Your deliverer comes." People will notice a change. And the Lord will give them a new name.
I want a new name.
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I am... weary of the "me" I have become. As for 2013, 2014, or flipping 2049, I want to praise the Lord for deliverance that burns like a torch. I want to see the way he overcomes the craziness of the lost ones, and brings us back to him. Waiting until the next adventure, the next summer... doesn't seem like an option. Change must happen, now.
A new name.
